Uh-oh, Stapler Misfire ...

By Terri Pattrick
October 14, 2001
- London, England

I was asked to get my manager a stapler. I went downstairs to the stationery room (it's open for a very short time each day, at a time strangely coinciding with most peoples' lunchtimes). I requested the wanted item but was told that there were none in stock at present but they had been ordered.

I returned and explained this to the manager. He seemed slightly agitated by this news, so I gave him the stapler that had been allocated to me. He grabbed the stapler, and sulkily asked me to make him a cup of tea.

Several days passed, and office life continued as normal. On Monday morning, I wandered down to the stationery room, and was told that the new staplers had just arrived (break out the champagne!)

I was given a brand new silver number with sleek modern lines and a solid, no-nonsense stapling action (not to mention its audio-engineered "ka-chonk!" noise when pressed through even just one or two sheets of paper). Balancing the stapler on top of three A4 folders and a whiteboard eraser, I carried my new possessions back to my desk, where I put them into their respective places without further thought.

The following day, my manager walked past my desk and saw me using the new stapler. He stopped, stared down at me with a curious expression, his hands opening and closing. I asked him if he was okay, and he went berserk, saying that it was HIS stapler and that he'd asked me to get him one, and that regardless of the fact that I'd given him mine, he wanted this new one.

This being a tedious, insignificant event I hardly gave any of this a second thought until he went bonkers. He stomped, shouted and behaved like a 5 year old, ranting into a temper until, embarassed (for him), I offered the new stapler to him. He refused it and sulked.

The next day he asked me for a pencil. Having a brand new one in my drawer I presented it to him. He stared, almost longingly at the pencil for a few seconds, then went berserk again, saying that he had told me to specifically go to stationery and get him one and that he wasn't going to have my cast-offs. I explained that my pencil was new, that stationery was closed until the next day and that I had a brand new pencil that he could have. He would not listen and ranted on and on about how he didn't want "second-hand" goods!

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