Project Manager Wants Moon on Stick by Next Thursday

17 March 2002, 17:37 GMT

An early prototype moon-spiker

North London-based consulting firm Improbable Solutions Ltd. has landed a monster project from an eccentric investor (who wishes to remain anonymous).

"Our main concern has been whether to physically get up there and plant a large stick in the moon's surface," explained Improbable Project Manager Teddy Rumbler, "or to somehow move it down to ground level - perhaps by means of a large ramp. Then the Moon can simply roll down to Earth, perhaps land in the Watford Gap."

Rumbler rejected observations from one or two team members that he had "lost all sense of reality":

"I really can't see what all the fuss is about. When you look up at the Moon, it's actually not that big. Sometimes I hold up my thumb, and I can eclipse the entire Moon if I close one eye. It's no bigger than a sixpence, for pity's sake."

Amidst rumours that this exciting new project would miss its deadline, Rumbler asserted: "We are quite confident of reaching UATs by next Thursday lunchtime. That means that our client will be able to walk on the moon, using the stick that we provide to prevent it from drifting away back to its usual position in the sky."

But how can he be so confident, in the face of such overwhelming odds?

"Well," he replied, "there are still a LOT of technical issues to resolve, but we've got a great bunch of people working on this project. There have been one or two troublemakers saying it can't be done, but let's face it - they're just not team players. The rest of the team are very enthusiastic, and appear to have no problems whatsoever with the Thursday deadline. In fact, every time I walk into the office, they smile and reassure me that everything's going great. What a team!!"

Have you checked their work to ensure their progress? (we asked):

"No need!" he grinned proudly. "They have assured me that they are on-track, and that's good enough for me."

Update: on Wednesday afternoon, it was discovered that the client actually wants the Uranian Moon, Ariel. An embarrassed Rumbler has blamed the confusion on a badly worded specification - primarily, the fact that there wasn't one.

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