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The Rumour Mill: Pointless Press Release Service

FRAGILE SOFTWARE ALLIANCE ANNOUNCED

From our objective reporter, Mark Collins-Cope
15 December 2002, 14:23 GMT

Over the years we have discovered that Agile Methods are preventing more projects from failing. In response, the Fragile Software Alliance has been formed to keep the gravy train running for cowboy developers everywhere. We value:

Broken software over broken documentation

Individuals miscommunicating over useless tools and out of date processes

Pissing off customers over pissing off management

Ignoring change over ignoring plans

That is, while we generally achieve the items on the right, we'd like to achieve the items on the left more.


Principles Behind the Fragile Manifesto

We follow these Principles:

- Our highest priority is to make as much money as possible regardless of whom we shaft

- Welcome ignorant requirements, even late in development. Fragile processes use requirement changes to get more money out of the customer

- Deliver broken software frequently, from a couple of weeks to a couple of months, with a preference to the shorter timescale

- Business people must exploit developers as much as possible

- Build projects around motivating financial projections

- Give programmers the cheapest environment we can find

- We dont care what the most efficient and effective method of conveying information to and within a development team is

- Broken software is the primary measure of progress

- Agile processes knacker out programmers as quickly as possible

- What is technical excellence? We don't care anyway

- Profiteering --the art of maximizing the amount of money made -- is essential

- The best architectures, requirements, and designs are of no interest to us whatsoever

- At regular intervals, the team reflects on how pissed off they are, and behave accordingly

Signed:
Jean-Luc ArianneManager


 

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Software company proudly announces that they have achieved CMM Level 1 November 25, 2001

60 Years of EJB Experience - The Most Employable Man in England? October 21, 2001


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