Millions of English Fans Convinced That They Played a Part In 2-2 Victory

7 October 2001, 15:43 GMT

Gazza: "I could still play for England if I wanted to."

"We did it!" an excited English fan jubilantly shouted outside a pub in the West End of London, late last night. "We won! We got through to the World Cup!"

He was quickly joined by several other fans, some of whom had never met before. Emboldened by their triumphant drinking binge and the wonderful news that together they had triumphed against seemingly insurmountable odds, they tripped and staggered unsteadily along the roadside, mooning the passing traffic and flicking "V" signs at worried-looking drivers.

Although it was widely acknowledged that, aside from some moments of brilliance, England weren't up to their usual high standards against Greece in Saturday's historic match, it was still the unrelenting skill and dedication of the entire English community of highly skilled, fitness-obsessed fans that sent that final, all-important goal curving into the net during the dying seconds of the game.

"We did it!" a fan shouted after the match. "Together we won! England are the best country at football!"

"The entire crowd was behind that ball," another fan commented, his breath stinking of cigarettes and Tennents Extra beer. "Without us there to scream and boo the Greek players, Beckham would have missed for sure."

The commitment and dedication of the lurching, leering fans has been grudgingly acknowledged by Swedish England manager Sven Hoek Ericcson.

"This is a shining endorsement for Swedish ingenuity," he added. "Would you like to buy a mobile phone?"

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